I’ve been starting my day, every day, for 30 days now, by making one of these delicious smoothies. The benefits are amazing:

1. With 9 glasses of water, plus another few from the ingredients, I take care of my minimum daily water intake, and
2. The spirulina and hemp seed give me some powerful nutrients that are not the easiest to get as an almost-vegetarian (I eat meat once a week, or less), and
3. I can’t think of a more refreshing, healthy way to feed my brain and my body to start my day, and
4. This amount of ‘food’ takes care of my breakfast and my mid/late morning snack.

So, here’s the ingredient list:

1/2 tsp of spirulina

1 tbsp of hemp seed

1 tbsp of sesame seed

1/4 Cup Dried Goji Berries

30 – 40 Fresh Blueberries

5 Big Fresh Strawberries

2 Cups Fresh Spinach

3 Full Stalks Celery

1/2 English Cucumber

2 Big Carrots

1 Peach

1 Nectarine

1 Apple

1/2 Grapefruit

1/2 Navel Orange

1/2 Kiwi

1 Banana

I put the first 4 ingredients in the blender with 1/2 of the water, the celery, spinach, carrots and cucmber then let it go until everything is smooth, then pour that mix into a huge pitcher, then I put in all the other ingredients, blend them, pour into the same pitcher, stir it together, then re-blend to ensure complete mixing.

Now, you might wonder what effect all this fruit has on my blood sugar, given that I am a Type-2 diabetic, and my answer is that it has a negligible effect – certainly less effect than a bowl of cereal, and also certainly less calories and sugar, yet way more energy-giving.

Just ask the people in my office – I am happy all day, walking around singing and full of energy. I’m ‘hopped-up’ on amazingly good nutrition, and I’m lovin’ it!

Okay, so it’s 2 a.m., and I can’t sleep. Well, actually, I probably could if it weren’t for the buzz-saw laying next to me. So, I got up and opened up my Hotmail account and this is the ad that appeared on the side of the page:

(notice I left the clock on my desktop in there?)

So, obviously, the subject of my scornful title to this post is the ad, the type of which is really common on TV, or so it seems on the occasions that I actually watch it anymore. You know, the ‘Amazing New, Super-Dooper Weight-Loss’ product, meal-plan, or what have you. They do the same with ads for men’s and women’s hair replacement and for Grecian Formula, ladie’s hair colouring, etc.

You know – the person will be a near-hunchback in the before picture, shoulders rolled forward, dressed like a slob, looking like they’re in a mugshot down at the local precinct. Then, afterwards, they’ll be surrounded by a bevy of beauties / hunks, looking like they just stepped out of GQ, Vanity Fair, Cosmo, etc. Wow man, can you imagine if I just applied Grecian Formula to MY head? (heck, I cheat – I just get a #1 on the old Flo-Bee at home and it’s so short all the grey is invisible!).

Look at the picture above – before, she looks like she’s going to jail for raping Cousin Bubba, and below, she’s in some millionaires library all decked out for some fancy ball or an evening at the theater. She either got a boob job, or she can finally afford a bra. Certainly, she got a die job, bought some shampoo, and learned how to smile.

And what is the message we are supposed to take away from this ad? That if we lose a mere 5 POUNDS OF BELLY FAT A WEEK, we too can have all the things we want in life!

Well, Holy Mackerel, Batman! Shiver Me Timbers, Matey!! Why didn’t anyone tell me before that it is this easy to get everything I want in life? Gee, Thanks for Nothin’, Mum & Dad!! Here I was, slaving away over books in university, workin’ my butt off to advance in my career to get the things I wanted out of life, and I could have saved all that effort and gotten the same, or better, results, just by losing a mere 5 pounds of belly-blubber every week!

I say that only partly tongue-in-cheek, because this style of advertising is highly offensive to me, for a few reasons:

1. The creators – do they really think we are so stupid as to believe this garbage
   Routing Number VIRGINIA COMMERCE BANK

   ?

2. The way it reinforces societally-messed-up scales of success & acceptability
3. The lessons it subliminally teaches my kids

I can guarantee that I’ll never do business with a company that advertises in such a moronic way – what about you? Write me a comment and tell me if you think I’m out to lunch, or whether you agree with me.

Wow – I’d never have gotten to write this blog post if the buzz-saw next to me was sleeping peacefully. Thank you Dear.