I’ve been playing the role of ‘observer’ a lot lately, most notably when it comes to listening to the way people talk about themselves and their abilities. I’ve also been seeing the same comment appear in much of what I’ve been reading. And it’s not a good observation, not for the people I am observing.

In the reading I’ve been doing, a common theme is that we talk to ourselves in ways that we would never dream of talking about others, and if anyone else ever spoke to use like we speak to ourselves, we’d probably hang them out to dry. We’d never have anything to do with them, and quite rightly so. Yet we beat on ourselves constantly, both inside our heads and when we talk self-deprecatingly to others.

Why is it that we do this? Why do we denigrate our abilities, our value, and all the great things we have to offer?

So of the ‘experts’ say that it is because of the way we were spoken to in the past. Other ‘experts’ say it is because we lack self-esteem or self-confidence. Still others say it is because we are, deep down, looking for sympathy.

Me, I’m no expert, but I say ‘Hmmmmm’.

I say this because what I’ve noticed is that more and more of the people I surround myself with do not allow others to just beat up on themselves without challenging them on it. They want an explanation of why the speaker thinks that about themselves, and then they challenge that belief. And I see the changes occurring in people , as they learn to avoid all the negative talk.

I remember a part of the Movie ‘The Secret’ where the audience is reassured that one does not have to monitor their thoughts constantly. I choose to disagree with that statement. My own experience tells me the opposite is true for me and for many of the people I see in my world every day. The saying ‘Your thoughts lead to your feelings; your feelings lead to your actions; your actions lead to your results’, and all the mutations of it, seem to make it clear that one must be cognizant of their thoughts constantly, to achieve the results one wants. Hmmmmm.

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